Thank You: So Simple, Yet So Underrated

Have you ever held the door for someone and they just waltzed on past you like they were entitled to such privileges without so much as a thank you? Yes, I have many, many times. People who don’t take the time for common courtesy are rude, and on my radar as my #1 pet peeve. (Tied with people who use the phrase, “That’s not my job!”).

I will even go so far as to say thank you to people in their native language at Chinese restaurants (which drives my husband insane with embarrassment). I don’t do it to be embarrassing I do it out of courtesy. To me, that’s not only saying the words, “Thank You”, but also saying that I took the time to learn how to say it in their native language to show an even deeper appreciation.

So why are the words, thank you so underrated? Researchers who studied everyday language use around the world and found that in informal settings, people in some type of service industry were, at most, thanked or given expressions of appreciation only 1 out of 7 times. This begs the question, have we become such technologically advanced humans that we are just too busy to waste time on simple human interactions and common courtesies? Of course not! The answer is that some people have a predisposed psychological reason for not saying those two simple words.

In a study by the University of Tel Aviv, Dr. Pinahs Berger found that “People who never say thank you are missing out on the opportunity to create satisfying relationships and hinder their own growth.” Studies further indicate that such individuals have significant emotional and social deficiencies.

Dr. Berger believes that while off-putting, you need to separate those people in your mind who miss saying it on occasion from those who have a habit of never saying it. Those who never say it could be predisposed to take things and relationships for granted, and have a harder time connecting emotionally. The good news? It is possible to change the behavior by consciously making an effort to do the opposite and be intentional in your “thank you” or by taking part in some type of social skills and emotional management program (a class or therapy).

So whether you are the person who says it some of the time or the person who never does...be intentional and let others know you appreciate their time and efforts. You know the old adage, “Thank you goes a long way.” In any language.

English– Thank you, Thanks

Spanish– Gracias

French– Merci (Thank you very much= Merci Beaucoup)

Italian– Grazie

Japanese– (Domo) Arigato (ah-ree-gah’-toh) or written ありがとう

Chinese (Mandarin)– Xièxiè or written 谢谢

German– Danke sehr

Thai– Khop Khun Mak Kha

Russian– Spasiba (spah-see’-boh)

Korean– written 감사합니다 gamsahabnida

Icelandic– Takk

Hawaiian– Mahalo

Hebrew– Toda (toh-dah’)

Greek– Efharisto (ef-har-ris-tou’)

Vietnamese - Cảm ơn